Something Has Got to Give...

I've been a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) for nine months now.  My 2nd baby boy arrived the day after my last day at work.  This was not the plan.  My first baby boy arrived 11 days after his due date (the latest one, at that - we were given three over the course of the pregnancy).  Because of this, I was expecting to at least see my due date (Mother's Day, May 12th, 2014) come this time around and go with a few days after that before Asher was born.  I was eager to settle in, make sure I was ready for the baby's arrival, and soak in the last week and a half or so that I had with my precious first-born.  I wanted to stare into his hazel eyes, stroke his baby-soft, light brown hair, and breath in the May-fresh air on walks with him outside.  I wanted to go on adventures, and snuggle, and nap, and laugh with him.  Ten hours after I clocked out for the final time, the pangs of labor began and seven hours after that I was (pretty literally) in shock that I was holding Asher in my arms.  It ended up, of course, being absolutely impeccable timing.

Asher is now nine-months-old and full of life and joy and motion.  Since his arrival we have moved, my husband has changed his vocation, we have changed church locations, and I have made several new mom friends.  We have started two side businesses (one didn't make it far off the ground and is now completely set aside while the other is in full swing), settled into and decorated nearly every room in the house, seen the holidays and several precious house guests come and go.  We are now facing Asher's one year birthday party and I can barely believe everything that the last year has held.

One thing that hits my heart daily is my relationship with the Lord.  When I was an undergraduate intern in the Honor Academy in east Texas, and even before that in Ohio as a high schooler, I voraciously poured my time in prayer, reading Christian-living style books, reading through the Bible annually, filling up journals like you wouldn't believe and trying to make a habit of reviewing notes from every class/sermon that I heard after hearing them.  I thrived on being a life-long learner.  As I was warned by the Director of the internship on so many years ago, my life would become more full than I could believe as life went on.  I swore he was wrong, that I was the busiest I could possibly be at the stage of my life, and I prided myself in that.  And, of course, I was the one that was totally and completely wrong.  Now I find myself "simply staying at home," and I can't find time to spend time with the Lord like I used to do?  How can this possibly be?  I find sometimes that what I presume others are thinking, or moreso what my heart actually thought myself previous to this season, is that I would have more flexibility.  Considering preschoolers need attention once every 4 minutes which is 210 times a day and I have a toddler and a baby, I guess that helps balance out that and keep my expectations in check.

Yesterday I had a face to face with my husband that, well, was not well received by me at all.  He was sharing his concern with my lack of time spent with the Lord.  He gently exposed my addiction to being busy, and pointed out some creative suggestions to try to start working the Main Thing back into my daily routine.  For hours I stewed.  Did he not know how desperately I wanted to do that daily?  Didn't he understand the amount of interruptions, how many plates I had to spin and how everything road on me?  Within the hour, I was faced with this article and this one as well.  I welcome you to join me on my continuing journey as I plug the Lord back into my daily routine.